sweetheart redux

I am tall and flat-chested, and when I was younger I was always too thin.  I didn't mind how it looked, but as a feminist I have always had an issue with the way so many strangers and people I knew were always signaling to me this sense of proprietary approval of my skinniness.  Especially when I finally started dating, I thought it was irritating when someone who liked me complemented my skinniness.  I remember someone saying that he thought huge breasts look disgusting, which I disagree with, but I also didn't like to know that my look of undernourishment was so appealing or that anyone would assume I'd be flattered to have a big-breasted woman maligned on my behalf.  Now I am chubby.  It started when I moved to Philly where people are less conscious of their weight than in L.A. (and where there were so many good restaurants within walking distance).  Then when I got pregnant, obviously, I gained more weight and now, voila, chubbiness.  It feels ...

bad roads bad snow bad bridges could turn a once bad man religious.   (Silver Jews) see the luck I've had could make a good man turn bad. (The Smiths)

A Thousand Clowns Badlands Coraline Dinner for Schmucks Elephant Man (the) Fall Georgy Girl Housekeeping I Heart Huckabees Joe Vs. the Volcano Killing of a Chinese Bookie Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou Midnight Cowboy Night of the Iguana (the) Outsiders Please Give Quick Change Royal Tenenbaums She's So Lovely Times Square (the) Usual Suspects Vanilla Sky Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (no X's!) Yellow Submarine Zoolander

Hi! Here is the last issue of the zine I did throughout middle high and high school. Published March 1997.

There are some stories I would like to tell that I don't because it seems too hard to start at the beginning, or else there is too much detail there that I didn't appreciate at the time and too many cool things I let slip through my fingers when I had the chance, so I just try to move on, to avoid pangs of regret.  My stepmom's friendship with the artist and old Malibu art scene personality Renate Druks is one of these stories.   My dad and stepmom inherited all her artwork and personal effects when she passed away, and I think the heavy ghost of Renate was too much for them, too, because they have longterm loaned her artwork and effects to Mike, a Renate aficionado who has done a remake of Renate's 1973 experimental short film Spaceboy.  Mike is sort of the curator of her stuff for right now, and I feel like my entire family sort of relies on him to show the proper homage to and interest in her and her work.  I can't overestimate how hard it i...

check out my contribution to the wonderful blog The Hairpin today. xoxoxo Robin http://thehairpin.com/2013/03/horror-and-loss-in-glamorous-hollywood

Today's contest is for a purse, scarf or set of coasters (your choice) handmade by me , and all you have to do to enter is guess at which age I lost my virginity.  JUST KIDDING!  I find the subject of virginity loss totally repulsive.  REALLY what you have to do if you would like a chance to win a homemade gift is to submit a beautiful line or paragraph from a novel or poem (make sure to credit the writer in your submission, which you should put in the"Comments").    The most beautiful one wins. Good luck! (oh, just to clarify, virginity itself isn't a gross topic to me, just society's prurient obsession w/ virginity loss as well as some of the sexist myths that go along w/ it, like the idea that if a woman doesn't bleed the first time, she's lying about her virginity, etc). Gross! - Virginity Scene Purse Coasters Scarf