sweetheart redux

a young Liz Lemon  In a further dissection of my obsession with plotlines and constant various forms of entertainment, I have just got to say holy shit, what a bummer  about last night’s NBC primetime line up of the final episode of 30 Rock and 2 new episodes of the Finale season of The Office.   I HATE when stories I like come to an end.  It makes me so nervous to get to the end of things, sometimes, that it’s like a physical thing; I got a nervous stomach ache shortly before these 2 ending shows that I’ve loved for years came on last night, and I wanted to ask my husband if we could not watch them, but I was brave (how crazy to use that word in reference to watching sitcoms!) and watched them anyway, and thanks to that, today I’m fixating on the passage of time all day and how it’s impossible to time-travel, how I’m getting inexorably older every second, etc. – I was all excited to do my blog this morning and I wanted to send interview requests to Davi...

24. This was when the two girls were killing time together in the hotel room, waiting until it was time to go find Beth at the coffeehouse.  Richard, George and Molly had come back to the hotel room after an hour of unsuccessfully losing themselves in sight-seeing, and had found a note from Tess about Tim's theory that Beth/Vivienne might be at the coffeehouse that night, and that Molly would come back in a couple hours, hopefully with Beth in tow.  Soon the two girls were walking down the block to the Black Cat Coffeehouse, and Molly was thinking to herself, "Something big is about to happen."  But Vivienne was only herself, a 36-year-old, dark-haired, too thin woman, a person who always meant well in her heart of hearts but who sometimes acted coldly, disbelieving her own rotten actions all the while she performed them.  When Molly saw Vivienne, who was just a stranger after all, she said, "Excuse me, " and already starting to cry, ran out of the cof...

23. While waiting for nighttime, Tess and Molly sat in the hotel room smoking pot and bonding over the fact that they dreamed similar dreams.  Richard and George were downstairs, drinking in the hotel's bar. "I always dream about peeing, and dramas occurring in bathroom lines at school and stuff like that.  I mean it!" The two girls were rolling with laughter side to side on their backs, Molly lying on the bed, and Tess on the floor, passing a strong joint back and forth between them. "That's' too funny!," Molly howled, "because I do too.  I have like the world's smallest bladder so I always have to pee when I'm asleep, and so yeah, just like you were saying, I dream that, like, I share a big house with all these other girls and all of us literally fight, like fist fight, over who gets to use the only toilet, and then the toilet overflows of course, and  that's  l the dramatic climax of the whole dream!" ...

22. Tess called her ex-boyfriend Tim,  who'd brought Vivienne/Beth with him to the party the night before, and he explained that Vivienne would be busy all day. "Busy doing what?" "I don't know, Tess.  She's a photographer, I guess she works on that."  "Well, I mean, how long have you known her?  Have you been to her studio?" "I just met her, actually.  I think she works out of her apartment.  Why?"  Tess explained about meeting Molly, and Molly thinking that her missing mom was in Philadelphia.  "God, you know what?  There's something really strange about Vivienne, like very secretive.  And she doesn't know anyone here, she just moved here.  I met her from talking to her at the coffee shop I go to, she started going there every night like a month ago, and she told me she likes to go there because it's one of the only places she knows how to find yet it the city." "Whic...

I have been incredibly depressed.  To put as blasé a spin on it as I can, since that seems the most apt tone for a blog no one reads, I’ll just say I’m going through a 1/3 life crisis (and/or I am between effective anti-depressants).   Accordingly, I have been treating myself with kid gloves, which primarily entails letting myself go balls-out in indulging my constant need for entertainment, even though this indulgence is inconvenient for a fulltime worker, attentive mother, and sometimes mean but always well-meaning wife like me.  Yet, I’ve somehow managed to squeeze in many, many plotlines these days.   When I get a spare moment at work, since I take my lunch at my desk, I have been reading the novel David Copperfield by Charles Dickens, which I downloaded from the free ebooks (for classics) website Project Gutenberg .  This is really a great book.  I usually gravitate towards contemporary fiction, but since I discovered the Project Gute...

Birdman Purse $21 slightly negotiable + shipping I don't know how practical this purse is, because of its length and narrowness, but I feel proud of myself for the little ruffle design and I like the diversity of color and the vibrancy.  this is the description of it from my etsy shop: eye-catching, one of a kind. 12.5 inches horizontally, 8 inches vertically. multicolored shades of blue ruffle obscure the bright orange stripe at the top of the front of the purse. the purse's back is a color combination of pea green and white. the purse's dark blue strap hangs 12 inches from shoulder to purse body., this is one of my favorite pieces. lined with a cute yellow cotton fabric that has little black and white circle patterns on it.

21. There were many different ways to perceive Tess, because she was so moody.  For example, she’d been personable and silly as Johnny Carson the night before and now, waking up on the couch in the hotel room at the Sheraton, she felt painfully shy of these new people.  Still, she did want to get in touch with Vivienne/Beth for Molly, not only out of kindness but out of curiosity -- what if this interesting woman her ex-boyfriend Tim had introduced her to had invented her identity, perhaps on the spot, for the sake of Tess and the guests at the party?  But she also craved a smoke in solitude and a couple hours just to watch a DVD on her own television in her own bedroom. Ah well, she would just have to try not to act too sullen towards these people, whom she'd already formed an attachment to.   This resolution proved immaterial once Molly awoke, because of how sullen Molly was herself.   She watched Molly knock on the bathroom door and heard a man who ...

polka dots bracelet $7 + postage

This was a sheet of either flyers or stickers I made in high school, little advertisements for my zine Sweetheart and for girl power.  and these: were stickers that my old friend Rhani and I made one night when she slept over.  I used to think she was a poseur so even though we had all these classes together and liked all the same music and stuff, I was always sort of reserved with her.  Then, when my first band, Lime Rickey, played our first show, I was beaten the shit out of afterwards, and most every "friend" of mine who'd been there had bailed long ago, but my mom, my old friend Matt Harrison, and Rhani, were 3 heroes who actually jumped into the middle of things to try to protect my body, and dear Rhani actually managed to cover my head from kicks for a few seconds, before she was pulled off of me and beaten up a little bit too, and after that, well -- fuck, i knew she was amazing.  obviously there weren't going to be any more Lime Ricke...

21. "Why do you love me so much?" Beth asked George once, and he was so irritated by the question that he was tempted to pretend he hadn’t heard.  The question had so little to do with what effect his love for her had on him; she was really just asking him to tell her about herself.  It was so selfish.  But oh, how could he not give in to this request.  It was the innocence at the base of her selfishness that was one of the most irresistible things about her. "Oh Beth, he replied, "I don't know, you're just special," and then what he'd never actually said to her before, "I really do love you." Now, he brought the bedside phone into the bathroom so as not to wake the three gently sighing sleepers in the hotel room, and he dialed Beth's home number, just in case.  No answer.