Going to the ophthalmologist makes me feel particularly
maudlin, because I don’t like knowing that I have degenerative eye
problems. Maybe technology will save me
from ever having anything go that wrong.
In any event, when I am in a darkened room with a doctor whose face is
so close to my own and they are looking into my eyes with mirrors and reflected
bright light, it makes me feel just about as lonely as can be. It always reminds me of the scenes in Woody
Allen’s Crimes and Misdemeanors that take place in an ophthalmologist’s office
(obvi). The movie is sort of a morality
tale that ends with an existential lack of a moral, and the eye doctor scenes
are among the most … I can’t explain it, but it’s like the amoral protagonist
wishes there was a God or some order to the world but knows there isn’t, and
when he treats the eyes of a very kind, religious man who is losing his sight,
it’s the injustice of this good man having such bad luck that really gets to
the protagonist. I so wanted to find a
good film still of one of those scenes, but I couldn’t. so instead, I decided to RATE all the Woody
Allen movies I’ve seen, in reverse order from my least to most favorite. Isn’t that a neurotic project to take
on? Very fitting. Remember, I’m starting with my LEAST favorite
to favorite. Since there are so many
films, it might seem hard to tell if I’m criticizing him but I absolutely adore
him and sometimes find it spooky how well I empathize with his protagonists,
who I don’t generally like.
Anything Else (2003)
Celebrity (1998)
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex … (1972)
Sleeper (1973)
Everyone Says I love You (1996)
Melinda and Melinda (2004)
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010)
Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001)
Hollywood Endings (2002)
Small Time Crooks (2000)
Scoop (2006)
Match Point (2004)
Cassandra’s Dream (2007)
Vicky Christina Barcelona (2008)
Mighty Aphrodite (1995)
Scenes from a Mall (1991)
To Rome with Love (2012)
Interiors (1978)
Manhattan (1979)
Bullets Over Broadway (1994)
New York Stories (1989)
Shadows and Fog (1991)
Husbands and Wives (1992)
Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)
Radio Days (1987)
Annie Hall (1977)
Sweet and Lowdown (1999)
Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
Whatever Works (2009)
Midnight in Paris (2011)
Deconstructing Harry (1997)
Alice (1990)
Broadway Danny Rose (1984)
Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
Stardust Memories (1980)
Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
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