well, it's 10:12 pm on a sunday night. i'm up to my usual restless tricks. geof is asleep in the bedroom, coughing his poor little lungs out. I have a movie on quietly (Aviator), and am online looking for jobs and yes, occasionally giving in to my recent obsession to Farmville. I have gotten out of the habit of reading, and don't seem able to complete anything lately. I was reading one of my favorite type of novels, something contemporary that nobody's heard of that mom bought at some yard sale in san pedro or something, but that wasn't doing it for me, i wanted something more epic, so I tried to start War and Peace, but it wasn't quite for me, and now I'm trying to make myself stick it out through what seems MAYBE able to hold my attention, graham greene's The Tenth Man, checked out from the North Hollywood Library, when I was there tutoring one of the couple tutoring clients I have left. I can't even finish a scarf lately, before crocheting another one. these should be bday resolutions: finish what i start. stop playing farmville. watch less movies, read more (though boy did i see an impressive slew of films this weekend, especially in terms of gore: Jennifer's Body AND Drag Me To Hell -- I didn't even know I liked gore so much but I seem to be in the mood for it).
if any of you are millionaires: i'm still making and trying to sell my beautiful scarves. also, i just put an ad on craigslist for my tutoring services.
it's been really neat, to meet children as their tutor, to help them.
also, anyone creative and macro-managing who entirely trusts me and my instincts and wants to hire me to do something that will prove heroic, please write to me.
tomorrow morning at 3:55 am (what it says on my birth certificate) supposedly I'm going to wake up and remember to say Rabbit Rabbit because that's good luck for the first day of the month. I will be 31 years old tomorrow. I still feel 17, and sometimes 19. I still feel elusive as an eel, maudlin as a clown with an ulcer, beautiful as a trapeze artist, special as the personalities of cats, doomed as doomed can be, but somehow also hopeful. i have a cow valve in my heart and reproductive problems. I am wild but also boring. I am getting up there in years. someone please publish my novel. give money to nice homeless people but sidestep the bullies and don't let them touch you. that's my advice, from this 31 year old woman.
you're so wise, darling. i have decided to give you a job hugging homeless women until they feel better and harper collins want to publish your novel. happy birthday.
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