tired glamour like a magnolia leaf fallen from its tree. it is losing its velvety whiteness, starting to crinkle dry at the edges, but it still smells sweet, like the pasadena streets of my childhood.
I am at a mental hospital in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I had never been to this city before. My room is right next to the bay of telephones. I feel sad hearing so many patients start conversations with their friends or family and then so soon say, "Oh, you have to go? Well...goodbye."
When I found out a couple weeks ago that I will be having major surgery, it inspired me to make some home improvements within the next couple days. For starters, I had been sleeping on a memory foam mattress on the floor - I bought a bed frame, with storage space, and now the boxes that'd been in the corner of my room are out of sight. I also went to the bank to trade in a 20 dollar bill for quarters - the laundry room here doesn't have a change machine and I have often been out of quarters, perpetually chipping away at my laundry by hand washing it in the sink - low level depression housekeeping. The same day I got the quarters I did all my laundry, taking care of that subpar living condition that's often gnawed at my subconscious. I also stopped going to bed at 3:00 and waking up at 1:00, instead going to bed at midnight and waking up at 9:00. It's crazy how soon I changed, and I'm not completely sure why I'm doing it - the bed frame is going to help me when ...
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