a Mad Lib We Did Tonight: "Samson & Delilah"

Samson & Delilah (a tragic dialogue)
Delilah: Sam Samson! will you stop doing those itchy excercises?

Samson: Listen, Delilah. I have to keep my scumsuckers in shape. After all, i'm the strongest penguin in the tribe.

Delilah: Well, you look sexy. Look at the way your hair hangs down over your condom machine.

Samson: I've been busy. Yesterday I had to kill 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of a panda bear.

Delilah: Sheisty fuckface! you promised to take me to a robust party tonight!

Samson: okay. So I'll tickle my hair.

Delilah: I'll do it for you. Now just here on this penis-head and I'll give you a silver haircut.

Samson: Okay.

Delilah: There. Your eyeball is nice and short. How do you feel?

Samson: Clammy.

Comments

Grand Rapids, Michigan by Robin Crane

I am at a mental hospital in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I had never been to this city before. My room is right next to the bay of telephones. I feel sad hearing so many patients start conversations with their friends or family and then so soon say, "Oh, you have to go? Well...goodbye."

Yours til Niagara Falls

When I found out a couple weeks ago that I will be having major surgery, it inspired me to make some home improvements within the next couple days. For starters, I had been sleeping on a memory foam mattress on the floor - I bought a bed frame, with storage space, and now the boxes that'd been in the corner of my room are out of sight. I also went to the bank to trade in a 20 dollar bill for quarters - the laundry room here doesn't have a change machine and I have often been out of quarters, perpetually chipping away at my laundry by hand washing it in the sink - low level depression housekeeping. The same day I got the quarters I did all my laundry, taking care of that subpar living condition that's often gnawed at my subconscious. I also stopped going to bed at 3:00 and waking up at 1:00, instead going to bed at midnight and waking up at 9:00. It's crazy how soon I changed, and I'm not completely sure why I'm doing it - the bed frame is going to help me when ...

Birthday Card Book

IN keeping with the more than usual focus on my mom, who passed away almost a year ago now, here is a book she made me for my 14th birthday.

sweetheart redux

Search This Blog