my name is robin. i am a 30 year old unemployed, married chick living in a penthouse apartment in hollywood. yesterday afternoon my husband & my dad & stepmom were listening to me whine about how, basically, i peaked, creatively and punkly, etc., when i was a teenager. when i was a teenager, i even got some of my teachers to buy off on calling me by my nickname of "princess robin." i did a pretty well known zine and had a pretty well liked riot grrrl punk band. girls who find me online now who knew me then sometimes tell me that, like, i changed their life, exposed them to cool stuff they are still into, etc. i had chutzpah (sp?), you know? if something was unfair, i would yell at the grown man who was making the shit unfair until he backed off and apologized to me and the other teen girls involved in these showdowns. it felt glorious. but, i don't do anything now, worthwhile, you know?
I'm a fiction writer and poet, and have been forever, that's been my only real thing i've ever cared about as a career path (besides wanting to be a hero, like a vigilante or something), but i can hardly get anything published. i have five or so stories published in online or print literary journals, and this is after submitted to probably 30 journals a year since i was 19 -- you do the math (no really, will you do the math? i'm awful at math. but those figures sound bad).
my husband & me went to philly so i could get a master's degree from an ivy league school and guess what? -- a Master's Degree is a liability on a resume, turns out! at least when you are trying to apply for secretarial positions, like i always end up doing, because that's all the professional experience i have.
i'm reduced to whining, feeling sorry for myself, and trying to sell scarves i make online.
but i wanna be princess robin again, ya know? i wanna kick ass and take names & make a difference and for people to read my work again the way they used to when my zine had a following all those years ago when i was an itsy bitsy 13 through 18 year old wearing old gym socks over hairy legs with vintage dresses and my crazy teeth. well, i still sorta look like that, only now i have a chest full of crazy scars too.
but anyway, i wanna shine, like a moon. life should mean something.
i just saw my friend biz's blog about being homeless and having adventures and i thought, i will give blogging a try.