Firstly, would Darby Crash be a household name instead of just the homophobic homo nihilist punk who killed himself to be famous but
had the sad luck to do
it the night before we found out about John Lennon?
It wasn't much of a splash he made, his suicide,
and now he haunts this old roachy hot dog stand in Hollywood
where he spent some happy -- for a nihilist -- nights with his
fans and friends. His old ghost bones give him pains.
Secondly, and more importantly,
if John Lennon hadn't,'a been murdered when he was
would mom have visited dad more in the hospital
instead of drooling glued to the tv for all the details of
her mania-man, that effortlessly cool guy, John Lennon?
Dad was in the hospital recovering from heart surgery and
oh gee wiz, if John Lennon wouldn't have been shot like that when he was,
would they have stayed together, at least for a couple years more?
would she've drinken so much and
would she have exuded that air of an absolute distaste
for the concept of culpability that, in real life, she exuded,
all brownish-gray and a-swirl with the dingy smoke from her
In other words,
would I be the sweet, sweat-smelling ragdoll,
woman of the hungry mouth and the near-hopeless cunt
you see before you today?
Would life be better for me if John Lennon wasn't murdered that day
and if Kurt Cobain hadn't kicked the bucket would I
care more than I do about anything less than the MOST OF ANYTHING?