No matter what, it seems, the holidays are cataclysmic. people are usually surprised when i say that December is my favorite month, but what i love about it is that it's so different, i can expect to drive down the street and see decorations, and when i was in school, it felt like you could sort of just screw around the whole month, and frankly that's how it's felt at my millions of jobs i've held by now, too, like everyone was taking work less seriously and being distracted by decorations and whatnot. in a way, i even like the depression factor of the holidays, because it's almost like sad people are understood when they get particularly agitated by their loneliness in December -- there are special resources, it seems, for depression, in december. but it's also so much pretending for me, and that gets tiring sometimes. there's a famous (famous to me, at least) craft store in Pasadena, where i spent my formative years, called Stats. they have a whole huge room that displays their pre-decorated xmas trees for sale -- basically, an amazing room packed full of little lights. when i was a kid i would stand there and pretend that was where i was going to stay forever and that there was no reality outside of that room. when i went there the other day and did the same thing it felt sad because i was too aware that i couldn't stay frozen in that moment. geez, this is getting sappy.
anyway, i more wanted to make this a forum for people to share what december makes them feel.
oh, and i have to make very clear that i am in no way religious, and if i were to be religious i would be jewish not christian (but i don't believe in organized religion at all, i'm just interested in jewish culture, like the jewish involvement in the civil rights movement, the jewish religion's focus on books and reading, woody allen movies, yiddish, etc.). i think you all know how i feel about christianity -- annoyed beyond belief. my interest and emotional turmoil over the christmas season has to do with childhood, sentimentality and all that jazz. anyway, what do you guys think of december?
