Eyes aka Woody Allen

 

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Going to the ophthalmologist makes me feel particularly maudlin, because I don’t like knowing that I have degenerative eye problems.  Maybe technology will save me from ever having anything go that wrong.  In any event, when I am in a darkened room with a doctor whose face is so close to my own and they are looking into my eyes with mirrors and reflected bright light, it makes me feel just about as lonely as can be.  It always reminds me of the scenes in Woody Allen’s Crimes and Misdemeanors that take place in an ophthalmologist’s office (obvi).  The movie is sort of a morality tale that ends with an existential lack of a moral, and the eye doctor scenes are among the most … I can’t explain it, but it’s like the amoral protagonist wishes there was a God or some order to the world but knows there isn’t, and when he treats the eyes of a very kind, religious man who is losing his sight, it’s the injustice of this good man having such bad luck that really gets to the protagonist.  I so wanted to find a good film still of one of those scenes, but I couldn’t.  so instead, I decided to RATE all the Woody Allen movies I’ve seen, in reverse order from my least to most favorite.  Isn’t that a neurotic project to take on?  Very fitting.  Remember, I’m starting with my LEAST favorite to favorite.  Since there are so many films, it might seem hard to tell if I’m criticizing him but I absolutely adore him and sometimes find it spooky how well I empathize with his protagonists, who I don’t generally like.

Anything Else (2003)

Celebrity (1998)

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex … (1972)

Sleeper (1973)

Everyone Says I love You (1996)

Melinda and Melinda (2004)

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010)

Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001)

Hollywood Endings (2002)

Small Time Crooks (2000)

Scoop (2006)

Match Point (2004)

Cassandra’s Dream (2007)

Vicky Christina Barcelona (2008)

Mighty Aphrodite (1995)

Scenes from a Mall (1991)

To Rome with Love (2012)

Interiors (1978)

Manhattan (1979)

Bullets Over Broadway (1994)

New York Stories (1989)

Shadows and Fog (1991)

Husbands and Wives (1992)

Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)

Radio Days (1987)

Annie Hall (1977)

Sweet and Lowdown (1999)

Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)

Whatever Works (2009)

Midnight in Paris (2011)

Deconstructing Harry (1997)

Alice (1990)

Broadway Danny Rose (1984)

Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)

Stardust Memories (1980)

Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)